I Think I Found the Actual Problem!

I'm a random pinner on Pinterest.  I'm one of "those" people - I pin and pin and typically, nothing comes of it.  I get that "pssst, you've already saved this one" message A LOT.  Yesterday, I was skimming through the website while at work (I know...waste of company time, yada yada....I hate my job and it's hard to stay focused; I have no excuse), and I came across something that really stuck with me.  It was a To Do list and it said "1. Make a list of the things you do each day 2. Circle the ones that make you happy 3. Adjust your life accordingly.".  I was like "WOW that is really insightful!!  I'm gonna do it!!! I will brainstorm what I do every day and I will find what makes me happy!!!".  I was SO excited to do it, I put down Pinterest and got straight to work.

I brainstormed for a few minutes.  Then I did my circles - highlights really, since I was using my computer.  And what I found was pretty enlightening.

Aside from sleeping, eating, and a few things with my daughter and husband, I do very little each day that I actually enjoy and get happiness out of.

My question now is this - how in the HELL am I supposed to transform into a grateful human being if my days are full of empty tasks that don't bring me joy???????

I am certainly fucked.

I am going to go out on a limb and say that I am here, at Step 3, and I need to figure something out. This is why I'm miserable every day.  I think THIS is the actual root of the problem.  It's not that I'm a miserable bitch, although I will admit that some days I most likely am just a miserable bitch, the reality is that I'm miserable for an actual reason - I am a miserable human who's days don't bring happiness.

I started a list of things that actually do make me happy - most are not on my daily to do list, unfortunately.  They are, in no particular order;

1. Going for walks 
2. Playing piano (we currently don't own one but it is my personal mission to find space in this house for one and purchase one within the next year)
3. Talking to friends and family on the phone
4. Going out with friends
5. Going to concerts (seeing U2 in a few weeks!)
6. Listening to music
7. Singing (I have a music education degree so I'm a fairly good singer)
8. Playing with my daughter
9. Spending time with my husband
10. Reading
11. Doing my nails (when I was single, I would sit on my couch every Sunday and do my nails while watching TV and eating cookies...those days are long, long gone)

I need to make time to do at least some of the things in the list above - I just need to figure out where to start.  As Maria told the children in The Sound of Music "Let's start at the very beginning, a very good place to start...". So today, I'm going to go for a walk at some point - hopefully during my work day, since it will be nice out, but if not then after work and maybe I can make it a family affair.  💓